Tayhoe by Judith Schiller

Author:Judith Schiller [Schiller, Judith]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-03-19T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

“Life sucks, you know that, Leonard? It really sucks.”

“What’s going on with you, Jim? Why all this? Why now?”

Jimmy’s facial muscles were hard. “Whiskey and truth should be served up straight, right?”

Leonard silently demanded a better answer.

“It’s belief.” Jimmmy kicked back in the seat of Leonard’s car. “Belief in things around you, belief in other people, belief in yourself. I actually thought I was sent a sign. I believed that something out there said, ‘Okay, Jimmy, you paid your dues, now go and be happy.’”

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”

“That’s the problem. There is no plan. Not for me or you or anyone. There’s nothing out there, Leonard. Nothing at all.”

Leonard stopped the car in the shade of the park only a few blocks away from the city jail. He glanced out the window as he said, “Why don’t you come home with me? Stay awhile. Rose will be glad to see you. We can do a sweat together, get things straightened out.”

Jimmy reached for his cigarettes. “You’re not facing the facts, Leonard. What was in my heart years ago is gone. I don’t fit in anymore. Everybody’s changed. They’ve moved on. And I don’t know that I want to follow.”

There was a quiet moment when the right words seemed out of reach. Then Jimmy said, “It used to be if a ‘skin’ got into trouble, we’d stick together to help him out. Nowadays, everyone wants to go it alone. They don’t want to stick their neck out. They don’t want to lose their job. Their money. It used to be we had something to fight for, a clear vision of the truth. Now we just fight each other.”

Leonard considered this a moment. “When you were with the Movement, you gave years of your life to a cause, but it takes more than a rifle, Jim, more than the willingness to die, to bring about changes that will benefit our People. It takes a strong voice.”

Jimmy took a drag off his cigarette and blew the smoke in even waves. He watched them swirl across the roof. “I’m tired, Leonard, and the climb up is just too hard this time.”

The older man kept his gaze on a group of paloverde trees. “What would you want today for your heart? Would you ask for peace, for love, for strength?” He turned. “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

“Black Elk?”

“Bob Marley.”

They smiled at each other, and Jimmy gazed down at his boots. “All my life you’ve been there, Leonard, with the right words, but this time...I think it’s too damn late.”

“If you’re still alive, it isn’t too late.” He put a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. “Just think about what I’ve said, and go see Molly and Orton. They’re worried about you.”

Jimmy nodded, not trusting his voice. He was coming down fast from the booze. His head throbbed, and his cigarette trembled in his fingers. Opening the door, he got out. Sunshine boomed from all the car colors making him dizzy.

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